A year later

A year ago tonight, I was sexually assaulted by an officer in my home. I called 911 for assistance to remove an unwanted intoxicated visitor off my property. However, after this 6 foot, 3 inches tall officer removed this unwanted visitor, he entered my home and let’s just say, the rest of the night was very unpleasant. And a very tough year followed!
I completely fell apart for 3 to 4 months. I shut myself away from friends and from my practice, as I felt completely useless to help anyone in my condition. How the hell does something like this happen to me, at the age of 33, when my life was a place that I was happy with? Who the hell do I trust now, who the hell can I run to if I need help from now on? I already have no family if I were to fall or needed any help, now I could not even call the police if I needed help.
Thankfully, I had the courage, somewhere within me and with the push of a friend, to report what he had done, so that he would not do this to anyone else. I was scared as hell. I had no idea what would happen. After 7 hours of being interviewed by 5 different detectives and 4 hours of forensic testing at the hospital, they all believed me. The cop was arrested and thankfully pleaded guilty! He is still in jail.
Tonight is going to be a very tough night for me. I am so afraid to be in my home tonight alone. I rearranged my whole house so that the scenery is different. But, still thinking about how much I have changed and how had I am struggling to restart my practice.
I am going to a healing ritual tonight through the direction of a loved friend. Then, going out for some dancing to clear my head, but afterwards, when I return home alone, I hope I will not afraid, but I have a feeling I will. Wish me well, please. And send some healing energy.
I hate that sexual abuse is hushed. I feel if more people spoke up about it, less would happen. I feel if more people were open to learning more, less would happen. People could talk about their cancer, a foreign object that attacks your body. People could talk about being robbed or even attacked, but this is so hard for people to accept. I think that needs to change. Since being open about this experience and my other experiences from my childhood, 7 different people that I know personally, and 6 strangers have admitted their sexual abuses to me and are now healing. Being open helps. It really does.
Here are some facts.
• 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18.
• 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 18.
• Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under.
• An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today